I knew right away when he went from resting, to the shutting down process towards death. I think he was a little bit afraid of what he was feeling, so I gave him very small doses of buprenorphine as things progressed. I think this helped with any fear he may have had, and did a lot in my mind to help ensure any suffering was minimized or removed completely. I held him closely until the end.

Your posting, and the comments helped me to decide to let my cat die in a natural way, on his own time, and at home with his family. It was a raw, and difficult process (for the humans), yet genuine and dignified.

RIP Mishka
07/27/1998 – 02/28/2012

We are doing the “death watch” on Rosco, our sweet beloved mackerel tabby.

16 months of hyperthyroidism, cardiomyopathy, and pilling him twice a day. And since the end of November, a lung tumor that makes him sneeze. But for most of that time he seemed like an active healthy cat to anyone that did not know he was on 5 medications.

He had lost a lot of weight, about 4 pounds since November, and was not eating well because of the sneezing. We changed medication about 10 days ago, dropped the diuretic, upped the steroid. He stopped eating (we were force feeding him last 10 days to get his weight up also). In his prime, the Jehovia Wittnesses would stop by and ask when he was going to have his kittens. Top weight was 20 lbs, long story involving a Siamese in kidney failure.

He gave me that look yesterday, after a Vet visit to check his condition and blood levels. Now I find he is in kidney failure (diuretic, steroid?), last week and a half. The Vet was so stressful, meowed and howled all the way home.

So we are done. No more pills, no force feeding. No more Vets, unless I think he is in distress. I think he is in a coma now. I will keep him warm and clean, and keep him close. We will call a Vet to come to the house if this goes downhill. He had a great 14 months or so after we first thought we were going to lose him, very playful with the other cat, kitty dust wallows, and the garden and huge catnip plants. He lived long enough to move back into a new house on the property he grew up on (11 months). About an acre and a half, with a field and a barn, and giant fir trees. He had a very good 15 years. I know he loved us, and knows we loved him very much. Every cat that lives dies, and I hope he goes peacefully. He had a great summer, and I feel blessed to have had that bonus time with him. There is nothing more we can do to give him extra time at this point.

Of the four things that could kill him, I think it is the tumor that is doing him in. I also told him that if he comes back, make sure he does not go to China.

He just started making bad noises, not sure if we will decide to call the Vet in or not. Wish him luck. He has had enough of Vets, and he is so tierd. I just do not want him to suffer any more than he has to. This could be over tonight, or it could last a week. I hope I have the strength to do right by him. Death is never good, but some deaths are worse than others.

Rosco will be missed.

-He is gone, and I am on this damn computer, but he is at peace.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for creating this blog. My dear Baby girl died just a couple of days back, at home. She started to get sick back in the summer (we recall that it came after eating a bird). After antibiotics she appeared to be recovering again although was drinking quite a lot of water. But then she went down with a runny nose, this subsided but she then had a runny eyes and nose which again went away after after a few days of salt water washes. Then quite suddenly we noticed a tumor evident inside her nose. After this her breathing became difficult and she was constantly knocking the thing off which would bleed, heal and block her nose again. She’d always been more of a biscuit cat than a meat eater but she could no longer feed herself. I did take her to the vet a couple of times; the emergency vet broke my bank and left me struggling to pay them before I could take her back to my own vet. He mumbled chemotherapy, small chance, £2,000 plus….what could I do? I took her home and watched over her, fed her daily by spoon and pippet. She was up and down until about a week or so ago she suddenly looked really well, shiney coat,loved the mackerel I was liquidising for her and would ask me to feed her; she still couldn’t feed herself and didn’t drink but started coming back to sit with me or my son and had started talking again. We felt blessed and I hardly dared hope she was on the mend…my son on the other hand was convinced she was getting well. Then on Monday night I walked in the door at around 7.00 and as she rose to meet me she just fell over weak; she didn’t recover but after seemingly walking into the corner with no idea of where she was she let us put her in her bed. My son and I sat with her for the next few hours, talking to her, stroking her and after a couple of small fits she went stiff as tho in a coma. She would make little moves as we mentioned her name but eventually it was clear she was no longer lucid. I put her beside me at 1.00 am and stroked her until around 2.00 but must have fallen asleep. At around 3.00 something woke me. I reached down and realised she was still slightly warm but she was gone. My son said something also woke him at around the same time.

I realise some pets are just that, pets. And some pets take on a character of their own, they eke into your family and become one with you. this was she, smart, sweet, never asking for food but always wanting cuddles…so she got the lot! My other two cats are also adored but it was she who would stand on her back legs with her paws out to be picked up like a ‘baby’ and she who would knock at the letterbox to let the three of them in.

I heard from a friend who had a bad exerience with euthanasia. For me, on this occasion, the time was right, the natural way was right. she went in her own time, she chose. I know she had a couple of fits but then I watched my husband and my father do the same and was assured they felt nothing. I don’t think she suffered, I hope she didn’t but I am glad for her and for all of us that we didn’t listen to the vet and we had some 2 months more than he would have given her. She came out to the garden with us, sat with us and slept beside us. when it was her time she went peacefully, I believ it was right. #thank you so much Patti, after reading the letters you started here I am convinced it was right this time. xx